For all the single people out there, would you like your government to help you find a mate? We’re going to garner a guess that nearly 100% of the responses would range from “No!” to “Hell no!”. But that is precisely what parts of Japan are doing to help stem their population decline due to low birth rates.
Scottsdale has no shortage of dates, good and bad, but it would be amusing to think of what this would look like in our city.
One, the updated Civic Center provides plenty of options to take a good profile picture. While we don’t have any insider information, Councilwoman Solange Whitehead strikes us as someone who would have a photography hobby in her free time, so sure, I’ll make her the official photographer to make sure everyone looks their best.
Because it’s 2024, this project needs an app. So how would we even build that? Hopefully the city has some tech professionals, but that’s less fun to think about. Councilmember Tom Durham looks like he knows his way around some code, so let’s go with that, why not?
Someone has to develop the algorithm to make sure that the right people are shown to users and to keep people on this app. Councilmember Barry Graham also looks like he knows his way around code, so let’s task him with that.
It’s important that we give prospective dates the best guidance possible on how to make the right dating profile. After all, duck faces and trucks in your profile pictures and a long list of “No’s” in your bio won’t appeal to anyone. Councilmember Tammy Caputi has style and sense; I think she’d make a good profile consultant.
And what if things progressed and the new couples are ready to get married and have some kids? I could easily see Mayor Ortega as the person tasked with officiating the wedding.
On second thought…let’s just stick with Tinder. Big Government is bad enough, but Big Government in our love lives sounds terrifying!