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tbird uniformIt would be like wearing Dockers to the prom. Or a wedding dress to UFC. Or a Toga to a golf tournament.

Shouldn’t the orTBird-Medallions-1024x778organizers of the world’s most attended golf tournament have outfits a bit more stylish than something Jar Jar Binks might wear to a Bee Gees Party?

The Master’s has green jackets. The Fiesta Bowl yellow ones. Sports teams often change up uniforms. Note to the Phoenix Thunderbirds: It’s time. Chicks dig the long ball. They don’t dig those threads.

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Can you imagine Arizona conservatives shouting such? It would be quite a turn of events after James’ wife and former John Shadegg staffer Lisa James attempted not once but twice in previous cycles to seize the Arizona Republican Party chairmanship for moderates. James lost but couple’s commitment to a leftward tilt for their party remained.

No matter one’s Republican politics they don’t come more affable than Gordon. He’s excelled at logistics and events for presidential administrations and private clients. And he’s taken those skills on the road to help in Iraq and after natural disasters too.220px-GordonCJames

But there’s another reason every Arizona Republican, even those that so adamantly opposed his wife, should applaud Gordon. Because without him Phoenix would have had no chance to host the 2012 Republican National Convention, nor the upcoming 2016 event for which the city is again making a spirited bid.

Democratic Phoenix Mayors Phil Gordon and Greg Stanton deserve much credit for enthusiastically embracing a major political party that’s not their cup of tea. They understand the profound economic impact and notoriety that comes with such conclaves. But it is Gordon James that is the heart and soul of the efforts, with his enthusiasm and expertise.

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When did suburbia become a dirty word? It must have been some time ago because people have been bashing the suburbs and the people who live there for decades. It’s fashionable to sneer, snicker, and sanctimoniously prattle on about how the suburbs lack diversity and culture; how they cause sprawl; and how they are bad for the environment.

I’ve had enough. A few weeks ago some snarky professor from Columbia University was on NPR saying that suburbs are not sustainable and he proposed ending the mortgage tax credit claiming it was subsidizing the suburban lifestyle. He also claimed millennials are rejecting the suburbs in favor of city life because they know better than their parents and prefer not to own cars or a home in the suburbs.

This clichéd diatribe sent me over the edge. Here’s a simple concept: people move to the suburbs because it’s pleasant. Because for many people owning a quarter acre of land, a 25 hundred square foot home, and a two car garage beats the hell out a cramped apartment in the middle of the city where parking is a privilege, silence is scarce, and the nearest cactus is at a botanical garden or a public park. Historic neighborhoods have their charm, but so do sparkly new neighborhoods with their own little parks, manicured landscaping, and brand new shopping centers.

We don’t all live downtown because we all don’t want to live downtown.

Downtown Phoenix is a great place to visit, but on a hot summer day I prefer not to be greeted by the smell of diesel fumes and dumpsters.

Is it really wrong to crave a backyard, a pool, and a few cacti? Am I a war criminal because I prefer to drive to work? Am I a Neanderthal because the only way I can afford vaulted ceilings and a tile entry is to live in tract housing?

As for subsidizing the suburbs, how many projects get a helping hand from the government because of ‘urban renewal.’ How about that light rail system that makes it easier to travel around downtown? How about the endless government buildings that are constructed, expanded or renovated downtown? How about ASU’s Downtown Campus?

And when our professor friend points out that millennials don’t live in the suburbs, maybe it’s because they’re broke because of this lousy economy; or perhaps they’re paying off student loans so that universities can afford to employ sanctimonious professors, or build lavish downtown campuses.

I love downtown Phoenix. I just don’t want to live there. And I’m tired of taking heat for it. I have nothing against people who live downtown. But doing so doesn’t make you more moral, or superior, or Mother Theresa. It just means you like to live in the city. Good for you.

So forgive me as I shop at JC Penny’s, eat at TGI Fridays, cut my lawn, clean my pool, and keep my car running. It’s a pretty good lifestyle, and if any of you ‘proud urban dwellers’ have a problem with that then you can kiss my suburban ass.

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We dislike politicians because we think they're hypocritical. We think they're takers and that there is always a hidden motive behind their actions.

But what is the motive behind fighting against equality and then being serviced in a public bathroom by a Craigslist secret lover? Later, going home to your wife and children and complaining that your wife, along with the meatloaf, are dry.

Does the gay community really inspire such rage within your heart, or are you feigning disgust

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obama-sucks-250Little offends me more than a Prius with the bumper sticker, "OBAMA: 2008".

It's not "cool vintage" like your Billy Idol cassette tape. It reminds me of milk that has expired. Or wearing white heels after Labor Day.

And although the Coexist bumper sticker makes you look like a Whole Foods shopping hippie, what REALLY grinds my gears... is when I see a member of the Conservative community utilizing their Chevy Tahoe as ad space for their political crusade. I'm not just talking one... I'm talking five to ten. If you have more than two bumper stickers on your vehicle, you look

insane. Please don't represent us in that way.

Can this person be cited at the scene of an accident for having a diatribe

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beyonce-and-obamaHey Millennials,

Wake the Expletive Up! If Obama were Kenny G, we'd be that luscious sax, and we're being played. Hard. It started with the hip campaign posters. Hope. Change. It looked like the kind of graffiti you'd see on Skid Row when you missed a turn or three in Downtown LA. So edgy. So unexpected for a Presidential Candidate!

Then P. Diddy stormed award show stages with tees gracing his face and Oprah used the number one daytime talk show in the country to endorse Obama as her preferred Presidential Candidate.

It's no different than putting Hannah Montana on a box of cereal. If you love Hannah Montana, her presence on that box of cereal will absolutely influence your purchase. Mmm, Crunch Berries!

hannah-montana-cereal

Today I

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